The time I had in Bree was short but I am very happy. Visiting and conversation with someone around whom I have not spent time in many months was wonderful. The entire time, not worry having about anything was a most welcome change. I’m acutely aware of how different I have become, but also of how much I’m still rather the same. It was surprising to find I’m still able to be free and relaxed, and put heavy and violent memories out of my mind. After so much darkness, light is a little blinding.
I would have liked to spend more time, though I am already aware that I spent more time than I should have. I had intended to spend a day and return to Rivendell that evening. However, when night fell I decided to say “Actually, I’ll stay here tonight.” Maybe that was rather a bad choice, now I am absolutely sure I will be missed and known to have disappeared.
Going missing for this purpose, I believe, was worth probably invoking quite a bit of ire. Because now I remember more clearly why I started out on this journey. And who I was when I arrived. That is a choice I’m willing to stand behind. And I’m happy, now, which might end up making me more focused – that’s good, isn’t it? It’s strange and nice that being in someone else’s company can change one’s mood in such a drastic way.
Actually, I’m very happy. I’m glad to be able to write with good news, rather than reporting on such disturbing and frightening experiences as I have lately.
Namárië. Don’t worry about me – I’m well.